The Red Packet(s) Posted on 11th Feb 2014, 3:42pm by admin

I must be getting old. Somehow, I have fallen into the select group, where I’m attending wedding banquets almost every other month for the past 1-2 years, and the only thing that’s red (other than the bride’s Chinese wedding dress), is probably my bank account. 😛

(Trust me, i’ve taken to storing empty red packets in every part of my room so that I dun have to go on a hunting spree each time, and even stashing them in my car front drawer compartment, since I’m lost count of the number of times people have asked me for empty red packets)

Ok lah, I do feel happy for the married couple with each wedding I attend, but then there’s always this niggling voice at the back of the mind asking myself, “when’s your turn?” Gosh. I attribute this to our Asian (and probably religious) background. Asian (or Chinese, in my case) society, has always emphasized on getting married and settling down and having children by a certain age – in addition to having a career. Seems like you gotta be more of an octopus in this day and age. Or perhaps, being able to split yourself into 3, or having one of Hermione Granger’s time-turning hourglass would be handy. (sorry, Harry Potter’s Prisoner of Azkaban was just showing on Ch5 a few days ago) The other thing would be our religion aspect, where we are reminded that a man must leave his parents, and join a woman, and the two become one. Of course, there’s also those who are called to celibacy and higher vocations.

I’ve had discussions with a good friend, X, on this topic before. We know of Catholic medical professionals with large families, yet we are also familiar with Catholic medical professionals who are also single. We were just sitting down for coffee not long ago, wondering why we were having trouble finding our other halves. And we started to draw a few (tongue-in-cheek) conclusions / criteria, which I shall dare to share here:

– first criteria: the opposite half should preferably not be a Christian. I’m not saying that Christians and Catholics can’t get into marriages together. Just that a lot of discussion and thought and love should go into it first. There are always tangly issues to sort out.. like which church do you go to? Which church do the children go to? I know of Christians who have lamented why Catholics insist on marrying either Catholics, or nobody else – cos religion is always a sensitive and close to heart issue.

– Does it sound like the first criteria has limited the dating pool to just the immediate Church circle? If so, then conclusion number 2 is: start joining a church ministry to widen your “catch pool”! Perhaps our parish priests should use this technique to try to revive the low participation rate of the general Catholic community in church ministries =P Its always been said that compared to our Christian counterparts, Catholics are generally considered a bit more “laid back” in certain areas — and don’t choose a potentially solitary job scope which limits your interaction, such as a website editor / IT person. LOL.

– Open up your heart (and your choices): there are perfectly eligible non-Christian girls out there. The Church doesn’t say you can’t marry a non-Catholic (although it does save a lot of hassle), but if you truly love your potential wife, there are ways to get marry a non-Christian spouse. =) (includes inviting them to share in our beautiful faith).

– If you feel as if there are too many stumbling blocks placed in your way.. Don’t give up! The road to love ain’t never easy. Pray (like mad!) for God to show you the correct partner. (Or to help you find peace with your relationship with God and singlehood.)

Anyway, X is now happily attached, and I wish the best for the both of them. =)

Yours truly has now gotta find another person to sit down and have coffee with, some time. Let me know if you’re interested! Guess i should be heading off to look for a church ministry to join? Heh.

Signing off,

~ currently-single-XY-medical-professional ~ ^ ^

*the author is an avid writer who is starting to reconsider spending too much time writing articles online, and instead, thinking of showing his face to the outside world.*